Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I smell a rat ...

These two wouldn’t hurt a fly – let alone a rat!

Well, actually I saw one. This morning. Outside our back door.
Sadly, for the rat, it was dead. I’m not sure how it died.
Certainly, I don’t suspect our dogs. They are labbie angels, who have killed anything in their entire lives. Even when the neighbours’ chickens and cats used to regularly visit our garden, the dogs would just watch them with interest and occasionally follow them around, sniffing at them. Our dogs also play with our cats and kids. It goes without saying, they are awesome. And to support my theory, Zac and Daisy ignore the rat and instead give us their usual effusive morning greetings.
Whatever. Something awful, apparently, occurred to the rat. Possibly a cat. Or a passing rat-killing ninja. Annyway, it’s gone to rat heaven and its fate immediately becomes this morning’s topic of discussion.
“What happened to him?” asks Harmonie, mournfully.
“Harmonie, it might be a girl,” says Chase. “Mum, is he a boy or a girl?”
Somehow, I manage to keep them from going outside to look, and we race through the usual morning routine. By ten to eight, the kids are ready – hair-combed, teeth-brushed, everything in place – when I realise I’m still in my PJs. So I leave the kids in front of the electronic babysitter, and run upstairs to shower and change.
Big mistake.
The kids use the 10 minutes it takes for me to do this to go outside, and perform a Rat Burial.
Donning plastic gloves, they scoop the rat up in a cup and place him in a lunchbox coffin.
Then they partially bury the rat in the garden. Partially, because before they can finish, the dogs take the opportunity to sneak inside and clean up the breakfast leftovers. Well, they are labbies!
And somehow, the back screen door falls off its hinges. Chaos reigns.
I come downstairs to screaming – though thankfully no one is hurt.
Chase blames the dogs. Harmonie blames Chase AND the dogs, which is probably the most likely scenario.
“But Mum, we just wanted to give Rattie a funeral,” says Harmonie.
“Yeah, we just want to be able to visit him every day so he doesn’t get lonely,” adds Chase.
Well, you can’t argue with that logic.
I quickly dust the kids over for rat germs and we leave, late as usual, for school.
Just a typical morning here then.

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